9 months ago today.....

I was exactly 38 weeks pregnant and so anxious to give birth to Baby Boy C.  This day, 9 months ago, I was getting my bags packed and ready to go for my scheduled induction 5 days away.  On April 16, 2010, after 12 hours of non-stop contractions, and an hour of non-stop pushing...with NO epidural...I gave birth to a 7 lb 14 oz baby boy.  The only catch?  He wasn't MY baby!  Baby C is my first surrobabe.  The entire delivery I was accompanied by Baby C's mom, my FIM (see acronym list to the right).  My FIPs were at the hospital the entire time very anxiously awaiting the birth of their second baby, their first son.  What an amazingly indescribable day!  I was in physical agony for hours, on an emotional high for months, and a scary roller coaster for well over a year.  There was alot that went into this baby boy making his entrance into the world.  Lots of peaks and valleys, lots of tears and smiles, lots of bumps and curves, but it was ALL so completely W.O.R.T.H. it!!!  Here is a very concise overview: (Oh, by the way, that is a picture of me pregnant with Baby C in my blog title.)

My FIPs and I were matched to do a surrogacy journey in November 2008.  We were so excited!  N & L (I will use their initials out of respect for their privacy) are from Austin.  They have one daughter already that L herself was able to give birth to six years prior to our meeting.  But, after some unforeseen complications with that pregnancy and delivery, L was told that she should not carry another child, for her safety, as well as the baby's.  So....on to surrogacy.  I have no idea how long it took them to come to that decision.  By the time any IPs make it to the point of being matched with a surrogate, there have been countless unseen trials, tears, miscarriages, fertility drugs, etc, etc, etc.  I can only imagine how difficult it has to be to go through the struggles of infertility.  All I know is that N & L wanted a baby, and I was willing to carry it for them.

The process is extremely lengthy and so much goes into this, that not many people (unless you have been down this road) have a clue of what all has to take place.  Maybe I will describe all that another day.  For now, let's fast forward to February 2009.  In February, we were finally ready to have the ET.  We were planning on transferring 2 embryos that had been created with the help of N & L (and the RE, embryologist, and no telling how many machines, equipment, etc), but the morning of the transfer, we were sadly informed that only 1 embryo had survived to "transfer day."  Disappointing?  Yes. I won't lie, it was a little bit of a downer.  But, it only takes one embryo to make one baby, right?  Right!  So, we proceeded on with the transfer.  Now, onto the horrid 2WW (forgot to put this in the acronym list).  The 2WW is short for 2-week-wait.  This is the never ending 14 days after transfer that you have to endure as you non-stop wonder if the embryo transfer was a success.  This is when the RE will have you go back in for the BETA (blood pregnancy test).  This is what it ALL comes down to.  All the paperwork, all the oral meds, all the shots, all the idle time waiting on yours and your IM's cycles to synchronize, all your hopes, wishes and dreams, all, all, all of it.  It ALL comes down to this ONE blood test.  OhMyGosh....is this it?  Did it work? 

See, do that for 14 days and ask me again why the 2WW is H.O.R.R.I.D!!!   

Anyway, I go in for the BETA....Wait, let me back up.....  There is something else I should mention.... Surrogates are POAS-aholics.  Hmmm, something else to make me weird, huh?  LOL!  A POAS-aholic is a Pee-on-a-stick-aholic.  That is someone who is addicted to peeing on sticks....pregnancy test sticks!  So, during that 2WW it is very possible to go ahead and POAS at home and get a positive pregnancy test before you ever go in for the BETA.  So, let me go back and explain.  On 7dp5dt I POAS and got a BFP.  In English, that means that 7 days post the 5-day transfer (that's how old the embryos are when you go in to have the transfer.  It's usually 3 or 5 days, but that can vary also), I peed on a stick and got a Big Fat Positive!!!!  That's right, a POSTIVE!!!  Unbelievable!  We had one lonely embryo at transfer that decided to snuggle in a make me his/her home for the next nine months!  WooHoo!  I can't believe this is happening.  I have to tell L!!!  So, being the silly person I am, I took a picture of 3 positive pregnancy tests and texted them to her.  Oops....she was driving and got a little too excited!  We couldn't believe it!. 

For several days I continue to pee on sticks.  They are piling up in the bathroom!  Now, we just wait for the official test called the BETA.  The beta is the blood test the doctor performs to measure the hCG (pregnancy hormone) levels in your blood.  I go in for my first beta and the results are postive!  So, the next step is to go back 2 days later and have another beta test to check and make sure your hCG levels are rising properly.  So, 2 days later I go in.  Results come back later that day, and while the levels did go up, they didn't quite go up enough.  So, we wait.  We wait another 2 days- 2 looooong days- and go back in again for a third beta.  And we wait, we wait all day.  The results are in........they dropped.  What!?!?!  What do you mean the levels dropped?  What does that even mean?  What the heck is going on???  Well, it turns out we had what is called a "chemical pregnancy".  Basically, that means that pregnancy was achieved, but then quickly lost before the embryo was old enough to grow a heart and have a heartbeat visible by ultrasound.  We could not believe it!  We were on cloud 11, yes, cloud 11, not 9, 11!!!! 

Now, we were crushed, with a capital C.  We were Crushed.  Devestated. Completely blindsided.  Even though this was MY second surrogacy journey, I had no idea that a chemical pregnancy was even possible.  Ugh, just Crushed......

So, we eventually (after a few days) pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and decided to try again.  I stopped all meds, waited for my next cycle, and started them all back up again.  Here we go.  On to transfer number 2 for this couple.  I'm ready.  Let's go.  It takes awhile for my body to get back on track, but by April 2009, we were ready for our transfer.  This time IM had many, many eggs retrieved and we had many embryos make it to transfer.  So, this time we transferred two perfect 5-day old embies.  (The other embryos are then cryopreserved...frozen).  On to the 2WW....again.  Ugh...  But, this time at 6dp5dt (only 6 days after transfer) I POAS and got another BFP!!!  Are you serious?!?!  We're pregnant!  So, same ole process takes place, wait, POAS, go in for BETA, wait, go in for another BETA, and so on.  And guess what?...........

Another chemical.  You have got to me kidding me.  What the heck is wrong?  Why do the embryos keep implanting then stop growing.  This is horrible.  I can't take it anymore.  I can't keep getting my IPs' hopes up, watch them become overjoyed at the fact that they are going to have another baby, just to see them Crushed, again, with a capital C.  I just can't do it.  What am I doing wrong??? 

Nothing, I am doing absolutely nothing wrong.  This is just what it is.  This is the journey of surrogacy.  This is just what happens.  These are some of the nightmares that you have to get through and wake up from before you can have, or better yet, GIVE the dream.

So, once again, we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off.  Now what?  What do we do differently so that this does NOT happen again?  Well, I go into surgery is what we do.  I go in to have a procedure done, under anesthesia, to check my uterus just to make sure there isn't something going on that is preventing a healthy pregnancy from taking place.  The procedure started out as "diagnostic" and turned into "operative".  I had some scar tissue removed, but according to the RE, this likely is NOT what is preventing a healthy pregnancy.  Everything looked really good and able to carry a pregnancy.....(Thankfully, considering you have to be able to get pregnant to be a surrogate!!!).  So, now what?  Well, how about adding another injectable medication to the protocol?  Really?  Another one?  So, now I will be on 5 oral meds, 3 injectable meds, and a suppository (sorry, some of you may not have wanted to know that)?  Well, ok then.  That's what I will do.  So, here we go again.

Then, on August 2009, I go in for our third try.  Third time's a charm, right?  Well, we'll see.....  This time, because N&L had extra embryos left from the previous cycle, we had what is called an FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer).  So, two little frozen "embabies" are thawed and then transferred to the stork...yes, me.



2 frozen embryos, after being thawed, just before transfer



So, again, we wait, we wait, and we wait some more.  And, we wait a little bit more.  Then we go in for the beta, wait, then repeat, and then wait, then repeat, and wait, and then repeat.  And guess what....this WAS it!  We DID do it!!!  They ARE going to have a baby!!!  Hallelujah!!   And, in the midst of all this w-a-i-t-i-n-g... I was keeping myself busy....

And, sadly, that's not all of them!!!  LOL!  In a few of those, you have to have something called "surro eyes" to be able to see the positive line.  Normal, human eyes just won't cut it!!!

About a week later, at what would be 5 weeks 3 days pregnant, bleeding.  I am bleeding. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!  This can NOT be happening.  No, no, no, no, no, noooooooo!  I go in THAT day to my OB (I had an appointment scheduled already for my first prenatal check up).  She decided to do an ultrasound to see if I am miscarrying.  PLEASE, no, no, no.  And.....

Nope!  There it was.  A tiny little yolk sack with a fetal pole.  Still a little too early to see a heartbeat, but there it was, nonetheless, a   B-A-B-Y!  All happy and healthy, and looking nothing like a baby!  LOL!  My OB wants me to come back in two days to have another u/s (ultrasound), so I did.  And, at 5 weeks 5 days pregnant (about 2-9 days earlier than usual) a flickering, beating, beautiful, little heartbeat!  Absolutely amazing.  This is it.  N & L are going to have a baby!!! 




5 weeks 5 days pregnant, measuring 5w6d




So, in fast forward..... 12 weeks later, N & L and their daughter C come from Austin and we go in for the "big" ultrasound.  And..... a BOY!  N & L are having a BOY!  C is going to have a baby brother!!!  This is really real!  Fast forward another 18 weeks and they all come in again for our final u/s, to take the hospital tour, and to talk to my OB about delivery options.  I was 36 weeks along at this visit.  Hang on.....I have a picture from that day that doesn't show faces.  Let me post it.....




This is my favorite picture ever!


Then, on April 16, 2010, after a much anticipated arrival, Baby C was born.  Happy, healthy, and FINALLY here and placed into his parents' awaiting arms.  Beautiful!  Words cannot describe. Amazing.  Joyous.  Fulfilling.  Those words do not do it justice.....




I'm ready to do it again!