The Adventures of StorkMama: The Babies' stay in the NICU

N, I, C, U.

NICU

Neonatal Intensive Care Unit

Intensive. Care. Unit. Intensive care. For neonates. Babies. Fragile, delicate, tiny babies. Completely dependant, completely innocent. Sweet innocence.

Never can one place be so full of hope, yet so full of fear. NICUs can be amazing, wonderful, life-sustaining places. But if you have ever had a tiny one that you love inside of a NICU, you know how incredibly scary a place like this can be.

I am thankful for NICUs.

I hate NICUs.

This is no place for a baby to live. This is no place for new parents to live. This is no place to have to be when all you want to do is hold, physically hold, your new child. Especially- especially- when you have gone this far and come all this way through a surrogate pregnancy. Macy and MJ were with me, their surrogate. Their gestational carrier. For eight months I had them. I had them growing inside of me in Texas. Their parents were in Georgia. I had them. But it was finally Mark and Misty's turn. Finally! They had been loving their children already unconditionally from many miles away. Can you imagine what that must have been like for Mark and Misty? Can you imagine all the anticipation growing by exponential leaps and bounds while your children were not physically with you? My tummy was growing. Mark and Misty's hearts were growing. And all that anticipation? All that anticipation is for that one day, that one special day- your babies' BIRTHday- when you will finally have your babies. In your arms. Physically. Touching them, kissing them, smelling them, soaking up every ounce of them that you can. Finally. It was their turn. Their parents' turn.  The babies' birthday.  They can't wait.  They can't wait until the babies are born and they can take them in their arms and keep them.

That's what you long for so badly throughout a surrogacy journey. The parents.... and the surrogate! That is why I do this.   So the parents can have their baby(ies).

But now the babies are here. And they aren't sleeping in their parents' arms.  Mark and Misty aren't kissing all over their babies' faces.  They're not holding and rocking them. Sure, there were times, many times, when they got to hold and love on their babies, but it was always on someone else's timeline.

But they are here. And they are healthy.

I can only imagine what Mark & Misty were going through emotionally. And physically. I know those two lost a lot of sleep for the period of time that Macy and MJ took up residence in the NICU. I know they experienced all kinds of emotions while there. I don't for one second pretend to know all of what Mark and Misty were going through during this time. But I do know my friend. And I do know that there were tough days. And glorious days. Days full of hope and days full of despair.

Macy and MJ were healthy. Thank God. We do. We thank God. But still, seeing those tiny, innocent, completely huggable babies sitting inside separate incubators with tubes and IVs and beeping machines and weird sounds going on all around them- I can only imagine how badly Misty wanted to scoop up her- HER- two precious children and never let go. Never. Let. Go.

But she couldn't.

There are strangers telling you, you, when, and how, and if you are allowed to touch your babies. Your babies.

And yet so thankful that they are here- and healthy.

I'm just going to tell you, Misty was not leaving those babies' sides. Nope. Not gonna do it. If it meant she didn't eat all day, then she didn't eat. If it meant she didn't sleep, then she didn't sleep. I mean, how could you anyway? How could you want to leave the sides of your children. Your children that you have been waiting so long to come into existence. Your children that you have longed to be able to finally touch and hold and snuggle. And then there they lie. Behind plastic walls. Inside an incubator. They should be in their mother's- and father's- arms. Sweet, beautiful Macy and MJ.

Baby Macy

Baby MJ

Yes, you can hear the words "2 weeks" and it doesn't seem all that long. Not really anyway. Unless you think about that that's how long someone else gets to keep your babies and tell you how and when to love on them. Please don't misunderstand. I know that Misty was so incredibly happy to be a mommy to these two. But I also know, because I am her friend and I could see, how hard it was on her. Still, she always had a smile on her face. She always completely loved those babies. She looked forward, with unexplainable anticipation, to when she would finally get to feed them. Feed them- that meant hold them, love them, nourish them, and be their mommy. Joyous.

Feeding Macy

Is he a proud dad, or what!

MJ hung on Mark's every word

Ok, so Macy and MJ were, what are typically called, "growers and feeders." They're not really sick- no major medical issues, no handicaps, no diseases. They are just tiny. A little underdeveloped. Premature. Just a little premature and not quite ready to be home yet. They should still be in the womb at 35 weeks. They are still learning to breathe, to suck, to swallow, to maintain body temperature, and to maintain body weight. They are so little. And sweet. And undeniably adorable.

So, yes, we are thankful. So thankful that their time in the NICU is just for growing and becoming stronger. We are thankful that they are healthy and not sick. That they are here and doing well. Day by day. Thank you, Jesus.

Macy after getting her bath from Mommy

MJ getting fed by Daddy

And finally a picture from outside the womb!

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14 days. And 15. 14 days and 15 days. That's how long the babies lived in the NICU. MJ was in there for 14, and Macy for 15.

What a joyous day when Misty finally got to walk out of that hospital holding her child.

MJ. Day 14- MJ's going home!

Wow! I vividly remember the very day I walked out of the hospital holding my first child. In 1999. I remember clearly sitting in the backseat with her and the nurse shutting the door. Slam. Gulp. There is a completely dependent human sitting next to me and she's mine. All mine. Uh... what now? It's an emotional experience that now, even 13 years later, I can still feel inside of me when I think back to that very moment. I can feel it. Almost physically. I can feel all the jumbled up emotions of being a mom for the first time. Amazing.

I hope that is something Misty will always remember.

Twice.

Because it wasn't until the next day when she finally got to walk out of there with her other child.

Macy. Day 15- Macy's going home!

Finally out of the hospital- and together!

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Now here you are, Livelys. Here you all are. No longer two, but four. All four of you, one amazing family. I hope all your dreams are coming true. I hope your children bring you more joy than you could ever imagine. I hope you know just how thankful I am to you for allowing me to play a part in making this happen. I hope those two babies fill the empty spaces that were meant to be filled by your children. Mark, Misty, Macy and MJ. These four people will always have a special place in my heart. I will always carry a part of them forever. We are not your "typical" friendship. We are not your "typical" family. No, we are something special. In our own way. We are our own type of family. Time may pass and we may not keep in touch every day, or even every month. But that's ok. Because that is the way our family works. That's what makes us special. That's our family.